Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Help Me Pick Out My Leafs Jersey

If you know me personally, you are aware of my bad luck when it comes to Leafs jerseys. I bought a Mogilny jersey during his second season with the Leafs only to have him get injured for basically the entire season. The very next season he played for the Devils River Rats.

My other jersey is a Sundin which I purchased when the Reebok Edge jerseys came out. Needless to say, I didn't get much mileage out of that either.

With two defunct Leafs jerseys, I feel a new one is due. For once, I would like to own one of a player who would be active for more than one season but with all the new additions to this year's line up, whose name and number should I get? Well, Barilkosphere, if we've learned anything over the past couple of days, it's that everybody loves a good vote. With that said, let's head to the polls!

Meet The Candidates:

Luke Schenn

Campaign: I bring hits and lots of them. I don't mind the fisticuffs and won't have a problem protecting the homeless. I will be a staple on the blue line for many years to come and will one day Captain this team. Vote Schenn because I. AM. OLAS!!!1

Opposition's rebuttal: A glorious choice indeed but seeing as he will be the future captain, you will need to update his jersey once he gets the C. You might as well wait for him to be named captain before picking one up.

Mikhail Grabovski

Campaign: I score, yes? I Belarusian, we crazy, yes? I Habs killer, yes? Vote me, yes? Free vodka for everybody.

Opposition's rebuttal:
Nazem Kadri

Campaign: Can you think of a better endorsement from Burkie than "Is that the kid you want? Well we're going to take him."Forget Luke Schenn, I'm the future! Schenn ain't scoring no goals. Vote Kadri for an optimistic future.

Opposition's Rebuttal: Sure, Kadri can light it up in the OHL but can he produce at an NHL level? He's still young. It's entirely possible that he could bust prematurely.

Jiri Tlusty

Campaign: Father give me tip, I...how to say...nervous no more. I play AHL good. Bring game to NHL level. I penetrate defence. I like to score. Vote Tlusty for hard play, your vote will not get the shaft.

Opposition's Rebuttal: Yes, Jiri. We can see that you like to score.

Vernon Wells' stroke in clutch situations saves the day again

Tomas Kaberle

Campaign: 4 time all-star, shooting accuracy champion, amongst the league leader in points by defencemen every year. The credentials really speak for themselves. Vote Kaberle if you're looking for results!

Opposition's Rebuttal: Remember the last time you got a jersey of an older veteran who's contract was almost up? Yeah, that's what I thought. I know you're not ballsy enough to do it again.

Francois Beauchemin

Campaign: See this? I don't skate on ice, I wear that shit, bitches. Bling bling, muthafucka. How many other players on our team has one of these? I will delegate Defence Minister duties to my left hand. Vote Beachemin or I will fuck you up like I did Kopecky.

Opposition's Rebuttal: He's coming off of a major knee injury. Who knows how well he'll play during his three year contract. What if he turns out to be the second coming of Aki Berg?

Mike Komisarek

Campaign: As you can see in the video, I have a lot of experience exterminating pests. With all the city strikes in Toronto, looks like that skill will be much needed. If that's not enough to convince you then just look at me. I'm so ridiculously handsome that it would be a crime not to vote for me. Vote Komisarek. I'll take out the trash and look good doing it.

Opposition's Rebuttal: Let's see here. We have Komisarek for fives year. We play the Bruins six times a season...you multiply the six, carry the one...that's 30 times during the term of his contract not including playoffs. Lucic will kill him before those fives years are up. Don't waste your money!

Jonas Gustavsson

Campaign: 42 games played, 1.96 GAA with a .932 Save % in the regular season. 10 games played, 1.03 GAA with a .961 save % and 5 shut outs in the PLAYOFFS!!!1 Though it wasn't the NHL, the SEL is nothing to scoff at. I recall another goalie from the SEL making the transition pretty nicely. Vote Gustavsson if you're tired of sub .900 save % from your goalies!

Opposition's Rebuttal: Jonas Hoglund plays in the SEL. Is this the competition this guy is facing? Wait for him to get a taste of the NHL before getting excited. Sure he could be the next Lundqvist but what if he's more like the next Trevor Kidd?

Well those are the candidates. If you're voting other then please leave a name in the comments. All entries will be carefully examined as long as it isn't a jersey foul. Time to make your vote count!*

*All vote results are subject to change in the event of martial law.