The Morning After

I didn't get drunk during the game last night but I sure as hell wish I did. The alcohol would have been the only thing enjoyable during that three hour block. It was a sloppy affair which both teams didn't seem to care to win. Somehow we found ourselves with a 2-0 lead so I can't complain. That's when it all started to go downhill.

Before the second period ended, Mike Brown finds himself on a 2 on 1 with Sjostrom and he doesn't even think to pass. This is easily read by the goalie and everybody else with a functioning set of eyes watching the game. Unless Mike Brown finds himself on a 2 on 1 with Colton Orr, his first option should never ever be shoot. The play then goes back down the ice and into the Leafs zone. Leopold throws a weak wrister on net from the point (which John Mitchell doesn't even attempt to block) and look who's there to clean up the garbage. Derek Roy, the guy Mike Brown was responsible for.

I don't know what was said in the locker room during the intermission but we came out playing even shittier. The Leafs mustered 3 shots in the third against Jhonas Enroth. You know, the 5'10 goalie who just got lit up against the Bruins, allowing 3 goals on 12 shots, a couple of nights ago.

This guy...

The way we were playing, I just had a feeling we wouldn't be able to hold on to the lead. I was hoping that I would be wrong but this is the Leafs we're talking about. Of course they will find a way to blow it. With 16 seconds left, the puck goes to Montador at the point, he throws it at the net, which no Leaf attempts to block (see the pattern here?). The puck bounces of Derek Roy, it bounces off Schenn, it then lands right on an open Jochen Hecht's stick where he jams it home with 14 seconds left. Well, fuck.

Nothing to note in overtime so we're off to the shoot out. While the Leafs are historically garbage in the shoot out, I had high hopes because we're facing a rookie goalie in his first career shoot out. There's no way we don't leave him looking for his jock strap. First up is Versteeg. In his attempt, he pulled off a shoot out move used by many Leafs in the past. He fired it right at Enroth's pads. Nice to see him carry on tradition. Kessel got robbed on another shot and John Mitchell scores on the end of a beautiful dangle. Luckily Vanek was the only one to score for Buffalo so we're going to extras.

The fourth shooter is Clarke MacArthur. The Clarke MacArthur who going into this game is a career 0 for 8 in the shoot out. I don't get it. Was it Cito Gaston appreciation night at the ACC? I simply didn't get what Wilson was thinking when Kulemin and Grabovski, who both have had a heck of a game, were still available. MacArthur, who saw what would and wouldn't work, decided to go with what wouldn't work, doing the exact same thing Versteeg did. For the fifth shooter, Wilson puts out another head scratcher in Tomas Kaberle. He gets stopped, Tyler Ennis doesn't. Game. Set. Match.

We lose a very ugly and very winnable game. I just wish there was one of these to be taken to make last night go away.

This Week In Hockey: Opening Week

Hockey's back! It's been back for a good week now. There's definitely been a few surprises. Some pleasant (LEAFS!!!1) and some just downright hilarious. In case you're still catching up with your hockey news, don't fret. I got ya.

Oct 7 - Opening Night

• Leafs beat the Habs. Leafs fans everywhere breathes a sigh of relief as they won't go winless in their first eight games this season.
• Jordan Eberle scores his first goal and it's a beauty.

Oct 8

• Ondrej Pavelec collapses on the ice for no apparent reason. Doctors are still running tests to determine what was wrong. Isn't it obvious? Dude's playing in his fourth season in Atlanta...

Oct 9

• Leafs beat up on the Sens. Toronto media jokes about Leafs fans planning the parade. Where do they come up with such original material?
• John Tavares gets blindsided and is out with a concussion. That loud thud you hear isn't the sound of Tavares hitting the ice, it's the sound of Islanders' fans hopes and dreams being shattered.
• Derek Stepan scores a hat trick in his first NHL game. I have the feeling that this might be the highlight of his career.
• Brodeur puts up a Toskalian effort and gets chased from the net, allowing 5 goals on 20 shots.

Oct 10

• Tyler Seguin scores his first goal after a great over the shoulder catch. Toronto will certainly regret trading that pick. The Argos could definitely use a receiver with those hands.

Oct 11

• James Wisniewski shows Sean Avery how he brushes his back molars. The league suspends him two games for his insensitive actions. C'mon James, total low blow! Hockey players don't have teeth.
• Niklas Hjalmarsson lays out Jason Pominville on a very borderline hit. The biggest crime is that Hjalmarsson's name has a H and a J consecutively. That shouldn't be allowed in any language!
• The New Jersey Devils are victims of salary cap mismanagement once again. They send out 15 skaters due to injuries and suspensions. Luckily it was a home game so nobody was there to witness it.

Oct 12

• Kirk Maltby retires. I didn't realize he was still playing after the lock out. His combined -34 since then might have something to do with that.

Oct 13

• 3 and 0, baby! We're sitting on top and enjoying the view.
• Patrick Kaleta is a bit of a douchenozzle but that's really nothing new.
• Maxim Lapierre hits Steve Downie from behind into the boards. It's hard to believe that it's only been three games into the season because Lapierre's cheapshots are already in mid-season form.

Oct 14

• Mike Modano returns to Dallas and is greeted by a standing ovation. Simon Gagne returns to Philadelphia and is greeted by being pelted with dead batteries.

Perception vs Reality: Platinum Seats

*This post is coming a week late but the motivation just isn't there when you lose a game to the Sens by a score of 5-0.

A couple of months ago, on an early summer's day, the Leafs announced that they were giving out chances to win tickets to the Coke Zero Fans First game. I was working downtown and knew they were at Much Music so I took the early GO train and made an attempt to line up for whatever they would be doing. The line wasn't too long but the planners were adamant on starting at 8:30 am sharp. With a half hour to go, the humidex close to 40C and Sens_Sucks a few feet away from me, I couldn't wait for the line to start moving.

The hockey gods must have heard my silent prayers because ten minutes later and one of the Coke dudes started handing out complimentary tickets.

SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS!!!

SEATS RIGHT UP AGAINST THE GLASS! This will probably be the only time I will ever be able to catch a game in the first row without selling a kidney. I've dreamt of this many times but never thought it would happen. Now the only thing standing between me and the game is father time.

As I got to the ACC, I looked around for the entrance to the platinums but couldn't find one. Turns out that there's some secret entrance behind the stairs to the upper levels. While walking down those steps and into the dimly lit corridor, I felt like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas. This is what it's like to be a gangster (or a wealthy businessman). I put down my beer, took my seat and waited for our heroes to take the ice.

Enter Sandman starts booming from the speakers, Andy Frost's voice greets the crowd, the gates open and Gustavsson is leading the way. Oh shit, it's about to begin! Let's see if a game in the platinums are all it's cracked up to be.

Perception: I'm so close as you can get, without being in the same booth as Pierre McGuire. I will literally be able to smell the players' blood and sweat!

Reality: Despite it being a free "Fans' first" game, the lady beside me made sure I got an authentic experience by ordering sushi so all I smelled was raw fish and wasabi.

Perception: I'm right up against the glass! I can't get any closer to the action. The view must be impeccable.

Reality: WTF, ref?! Get the fuck out of the way! My seats were right by the blue line and I was blocked out of the play any time the puck was in the zone for an extended period of time.

Perception: So we have periods one and three in the Leafs end. That's okay, our D should be much improved this year. Dion's leadership will provide direction and I'm sure Komisarek and Beauchemin will be way better than they were last year. I can't wait to see that up close.

Reality: Komisarek and Beauchemin didn't play, I saw Nick Foligno blow by Dion Phaneuf and I got real close to the Leafs defence...when they were sitting in the box serving a penalty.

Perception: At least I will get to see the Leafs' offence up close in the second period. I can't wait to see how Versteeg will fit into the picture. He will provide some much needed secondary scoring. Also, KADRI!!!1

Reality: 0-6 on the powerplay in the second period including two 5 on 3's!

Perception: With TIFF finishing up, I'm sure I'll catch some celebrities in the platinums too!

Reality: I had to squint my eyes to see a group of Raptors players across the ice from me...I only found out their names from Demar DeRozan's tweet...and then I had to use google to see who on the Raptors was named "Joey"...

Perception: It's a preseason game, I don't give a damn if we win but I can't wait until we score a goal so I can bang on that glass!

Reality: We get shut out 5-0 and the loudest ovation that night came when Wendel Clark made an appearance.

I don't know if I can say that sitting against the glass have met my expectations. Platinum seats are great as an experience but they definitely aren't the best seats in the house. When the puck was in my zone, the linesman stood right in front of me, and when the puck was in the other end, I had to crank my neck until it cramped just to get a glimpse of the action. If wealthy Bay street brokers want to pay ridiculous amounts of money to sit so close, then good on them. I definitely wouldn't recommend these seats to the hardcore fans. I think I'll stick to the upper bowl where I can see the whole rink. Perhaps if the Leafs put up more of an effort and won, I might have changed my mind about the seats. I doubt it though, I've always been a glass is half empty kind of guy.

7 Things Leafs Fans Will Watch For

Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Hungry,

H to the L-F, I used to write blogs about fake refs...

I was going to head to the gym today but decided to dust off the ol' blogspot instead. It's been a long while since I've written anything on here and even a longer while since I've written anything worth reading. Hopefully that will change. The more content part. No guarantees about it being worth reading.

With the hockey season about to start, I figured it would be a great time to get things rolling again. While majority of the team we saw in April is still here, there has been a few key moves in the offseason. In case you weren't paying attention to hockey during the summer, here is a guide with seven things Leafs fans will be keeping an eye on during the new 2010-11 season.

#1 Tomas Kaberle

The big Leafs news...or non-news during the offseason was who we would be getting in return for our favourite Czech, Tomas Kaberle. As I'm sure we all know, Tomas is staying in TO for at least one more year, assuming that he doesn't waive his NTC. Kaberle flew out of the gates last year, scoring 35 points in his first 41 games. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep up his hot start and only notched 14 points in his last 41 games. He still finished with a very respectable 49 points, good for 8th in points by defencemen in the league, but also had a dismal -16 to accompany it.

Tomas have stated a number of times that he wants to remain a Leaf for life but with all the drama he has been through over the past year, I wouldn't blame him if he left. While is future is cloudy in Toronto, there is one thing that is certain. Whether he plays well or puts up horrendous numbers; whether he waives his NTC or stands pat; whether he re-signs or flees in the summer, people will be watching, people will be judging.

#2 Sensationalized Headlines

Oh look! The puck hasn't even dropped yet and it has already begun. But wait, you say. This is merely a play on words signalling the emergence of Kadri's two-way play!

You're giving them too much credit. This is the Toronto media after all.

#3 New Additions

The most notable additions Burke brought in during the summer are Kris Versteeg, Colby Armstrong and Clarke MacArthur.

Versteeg is a welcome addition as he should take some pressure off Phil Kessel by providing some much needed secondary scoring. It also never hurts to bring in a Stanley Cup winner. We'll see if he can shine when he's not overshadowed by Toews and Kane.

At $3M a season, Colby Armstrong will have to put up some career numbers to justify his salary. While I don't see him doing that, I do see him winning the fans over with some hard-nosed hockey. I'm hoping we get a Darcy Tucker like effort from Colby, minus the crazy.

We might be overpaying for Armstrong but MacArthur comes at a steal at $1.1M. Since it's a one year deal, MacArthur will definitely be looking to put up some numbers for a pay raise. Given he get put into the right situation, he should be able to pot a career high in goals.

#4 Sophomore Slumps

The dreaded sophomore slump. Many have fallen victim to it but few can explain why.

Can Bozak continue to shine and turn Kessel into a 40 goal guy? Can Gunnarson continue his steady play which saw him with a team leading +8? Can Gustavsson continue where he left off, winning 7 out of 10 while posting a .915 save percentage? With three sophomores looking to play pivotal roles on next year's team, Leafs fans everywhere are hoping that they don't get hit by this phenomenon.

#5 Second Year Leafs

We move from second year NHLers to second year Leafs. With only a handful of players remaining from the JFJ era, most or our team are first or second year Leafs. While many are depth players, there are a few we will be watching to see if they can carry the team on their shoulders. Can Phaneuf handle the pressure that comes with being the first Leafs captain since Mats? Will Komisarek and Beauchemin find their game in a Leafs uniform and prove that last year was simply a bad fluke season? Can Sjostrom bolster the PK and lead us out of our 30th place ranking? Can Kessel keep lighting the lamp? I'm hoping the answer is yes to all of those questions.

#6 Rookies

With a 29th place finish last year, the returning vet's places in the line ups are all but secured. Kadri, D'Amigo, Rynnas and Stefanovich might be four rookies for Leafs fans and veteran players low on the depth chart to keep an eye on this year.

We all know about Kadri. He's the Leafs blue chip, our second saviour. Will he play his way on to the big club or will he start with the Marlies? The Leafs doesn't want to rush his development but they want to see if he has what it takes to play at the top level too. No matter what league he plays in, Leafs fans will definitely have an eye on him this season.

Jerry D'Amigo's most famous goal to date was one that crushed another team with a Maple Leaf on their chest. If he can provide that kind of clutch play for our Leafs, all will be forgiven.

With Giguere coming off the books after this season, the Leafs will need somebody to step into his spot. The goalie prospect most are hyped about right now is the 6'5 Jussi Rynnas. He will almost certainly start off with the Marlies but could be the next in line to join the big club. Much like Gustavsson last year, Rynnas will have to get accustomed to the North American game. While that may lead to a rough start, he is still somebody Leafs fans will want to pay close attention to.

Mikhail Stefanovich is a bit of a question mark. Many thought he might make some noise with the team last year but a poor preseason put an end to those ideas. He had a mediocre season in the Q last year and as a result, he's flying a bit under the radar. Hopefully he can find that scorer's touch which helped him net 49 goals in the Q two years ago.

#7...

I hate to say it, but whether we like it or not, many Leafs fans will have an eye on...

:(

Small Victories

Despite:

• Shaun Marcum pitching great but the bullpen throwing shitballs
• Kevin Gregg walking in the winning run on 4 pitches
• Randy Ruiz not being freed
• Francona not putting in Papelbon for the save (I have him on my fantasy team...don't judge me!)
• and spending $10.25 for a tallboy of Keith's

I left last night's game with a smile on my face because during the middle of the ninth, a father and son a section over saw my sign, gave me a thumbs up and chanted down to Cito to free Ruiz. Small victories.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly - White Sox vs Jays Edition

Back from the Jays game. Just a quick run down of the good, the bad and the ugly I witnessed at the dome today.

The Good

Ricky Romero - RR Cool Jay was lights out in his second start of the season, striking out a career high 12 batters in 8 innings. With only one hit allowed, it was easily the most impressive start of young Romero's career. Gems like today's game makes us all forget about Troy Tulowitzki and trading away Roy Halla...okay, maybe not.

The Bullpen - Sure, they only pitched one inning but it was an important one as Kevin Gregg got the job done without allowing a runner on base. Faith in the bullpen has once again been restored. Now the question is, should Frasor still keep his job as closer?

Melons - Props to the girl who lifted her shirt on the jumbotron during the 8th inning. Sure, she had a bra underneath but I won't complain. Also, was today D-Cup night at the dome or something because the ladies sitting in and around our section appeared to be extra busty tonight.

Luchadore - Shout out to the dude sitting behind me with the luchadore mask. I really don't have much to say other than keep being awesome.

The Bad

The Klansmen - There were 4 guys in the 500s who wore white hazard suits or something which had a faint outline of "JAYS" on their suits. The letters were so faint that you couldn't see them from far. They just looked like white hooded suits...

AJ Piershitski - Faked getting hit by a pitch in the 8th right before Rios belted a home run...the only hit Romero gave up. Who knows what would have happened if the umps didn't mess up the call. Actually, I do. Pierzynski would have struck out swinging like he did the two other times he was up.

Booing Alex Rios - Personally, I don't see what the booing is all about. Rios was never good enough for me to be bitter about his departure. It's not like he has become the 5-tool guy we've always wanted him to be with the White Sox. I'm going to credit his home run to karma!

Furry Vengeance - The advertisements were all over the ball park. I can't believe a movie with the title "Furry Vengeance" is G-rated.

Man who packs dinner to the game - Dude in front of me brought a whole meal to the game. His main course was some home made lasagne, followed by some green olives and topped off with some honey roasted peanuts. It was more weird than bad but olives are gross. EWWW

The Ugly

Lyle Overbay - After today's one for four performance, Overbay raised his batting average to .100. It's no wonder that seven of Vernon's ten hits has been for extra bases. He knows that with Overbay stepping up to the plate after him, there's no way he's advancing along the basepaths.

Random Sports Jerseys - What is it about sporting events that makes people think they can get away with wearing random sports jerseys to them? I saw a Barry Bonds jersey, an A-Rod jersey, a number of Raptors jerseys, a number of Leafs jerseys, a couple of Team Canada hockey/baseball jerseys and a Colin Doyle Toronto Rock jersey. Though to be fair, that could very well be Colin Doyle sporting his own jersey. I wouldn't know because I don't know what Colin Doyle looks like.

The group of Jersey Shore stand-ins behind me - There were a group of 5-6 Ed Hardy/Affliction wearing douchebags with their guidette girlfriends. This probably explains the bustiness in my section but man, were those broads annoying. From the 3rd inning on, I kept hearing them talking about how Amanda and Tamara got into a big fight and that they don't think Amanda will be coming back. I was hoping Amanda would come back so I could record that scrap and put it on youtube. Unfortunately, she never did, making a loser out of everybody within earshot of them.

The Second Team

Tonight's Leafs win against the Habs marks the end of another dismal season. It will be the fifth straight season without making the playoffs...sixth straight if you count the lock out year. Without a team to cheer for in the playoffs, I find that many people adopt a second team. Most will just cheer for any remaining Canadian team left. This is a thought process I simply cannot fathom. How can anybody call them self a Leafs fan if they would even consider rooting for the Habs or Sens? Anybody who admits to doing so should get their fandom revoked. Luckily there is still another Canadian team to cheer for come mid April.

THE AL EAST LEADING BLUE JAYS!!!

Truc Life?

First and foremost, I'm sorry for the lack of posts. Only three posts in the month of February?...I'll blame it on the short month! In reality, I've just been busy with work. They have implemented these new "enhancements" which, to my understanding, are supposed to improve things but instead they have made my job a living hell. This is no different from the enhancements that Burke has brought to the Leafs this season. Did anybody really expect the Leafs to be this bad? Prior to the start of the season most experts, bloggers and hockey fans all over had them pegged as a team fighting for the playoffs instead of a team fighting to get out of the basement.

The biggest change Burke made to this year's edition of the Leafs were to inject them with truculence. Leafs bloggers latched on to this word harder than a hungry baby would to a tit and why wouldn't they? Burke won a Stanley Cup with a truculent team! To illustrate just how infatuated we were with truculence, some of us were excited over having Garnet Exelby as a third pairing defenceman because of videos like this.

Sporting a 21-33-12 record through 66 games, I think it's fair to ask the question "Is truculence overrated?" (Obviously) To answer this, I took a look at the games we played this season. Through 66 games played:

• 29 of them had at least a fight. Our win/loss record in those games is 8-21 (.275 Winning %)
  
• We had more penalty minutes than our opposition in 26 of those games. Our win/loss record in those games is 6-20 (.231 Winning %)
  
• 16 of those games featured a fight(s) while we lead in penalty minutes. Our record in those games is 3-13 (.188 Winning %)
  
• In the 27 games where there the opposition had more penalty minutes and didn't feature any fights, our record is 11-16 (.407 Winning %)

Obviously there are many factors that I didn't account for like when the fight started (Was it within the first 5 minutes of the game? Was it during a blow out?); how the fight started (Planned fight off the draw? Coming to the aid of a team mate?) and who won the fight, but my half-assed analysis shows that 1) The Leafs aren't very good 2) I'm lazy and 3) Skill > Truculence!*

*Outcome of games played may have differed greatly if Vesa Toskala didn't suit up for 26 games

Olympic Contest Winner!

With the Olympics over and done with, it's time to tally up the points to see who was the winner of the contest!

E Daniel Clark: 11 Points
Leafies: 12 Points
Skinnyfish: 13 Points
Rich: 16 Points
Sleza: 17 Points
Kessticle: 17 Points
Will: 19 Points
Shield: 23 Points
MykeNose: 23 Points
Gooner4Ever: 24 Points
Space Weed: 24 Points
Fleet Fox: 25 Points

Congrats to Fleet Fox for owning the podium!
Shoot me an email at dennis0430 at gmail dot com to claim your prize

Thankfully, no tie-breaker was needed.

What I learned from the contest

• Joe Thornton is in true playoff form, scoring 2 points in 7 games
• The top 2 scorers were Marian Hossa and Pavol Demitra and nobody picked them. No respect for the Slovaks!
• The only goose-egg pick was Lidstrom who didn't register a point in 4 games
• Niklas Hagman is the highest scoring Finn. Now you can't say he's never done anything for the Finns, sleza!
• Remember that offensive dynamo team from Russia? They only had one player in the top 30...
• Canadians led the way with 13 players in the top 30, followed by Slovakia with 6 then the US with 4.
• I LOOOVE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLD!!!1
  

Olympics Contest Reminder

Just a reminder that there's a week left until the Olympics so that means only a week left until the Olympics contest. Leave your entries in the comments! Here are the rules once again.

------------------------------OLYMPICS CONTEST------------------------------Now for a new contest. With the Olympics coming up, I figured an Olympics themed one would make most sense. To keep it quick and simple, list 3 forwards and 2 defencemen playing in the Olympics. Person with the most points wins.

To avoid having Malkin, Crosby and Ovechkin as everybody's 3 forwards, they are void from the contest. Everybody else is fair game. For a tie-breaker, state who you think will lead the Olympics in points along with how many goals and assists they get. Remember to leave your name rather than anonymous along with some way I can contact you in case you win.

Winner gets this Tomas Kaberle autograph.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Ladies and gentlemen, the Burke era is officially here. There was no holding back, he came out guns blazing. These are the type of deals that us Leafs fans have only heard of...the deals we were expecting last trade deadline and this past draft. While we came away disappointed on both those occasions, he really made our heads turn with this one.

Like everybody else, I was completely caught off guard by the news of these deals. I stayed up until the morning watching Federer do his thing so I was still in bed when the trades went down. It was around 11:30. I feel a slight vibration (get your mind out of the gutter, you perv) and my eyes slowly opened. I just got a text message from my buddy and it read "Brian Burke is a genius!" I sprung out of bed and turned on my computer. Twitter was blowing up with activity. Who did we get? Who is gone? A day later and I can finally wrap my head around this. Sure, there's a lot of good in these two deals but like with most things, there's some bad and some ugly too.

The Good

• Elisha Cuthbert - One of the key components to this trade. The one edge Ottawa has had on us was the celebrity girlfriend factor. This pretty much gives us the upper hand in the battle of Ontario.
  

• Getting a competent goalie - Our biggest weakness this season has been our goaltending by far. With Giguere, we get a goalie that has taken his team to the Stanley Cup finals twice and came away with some hardware both times...even when he lost the series! Giguere's performance in the 2003 playoffs was one of the most clutch performances I have ever seen by a goalie. While it would be delusional to expect that same goaltender from the past, he is still miles above Toskala and at this very moment, probably a better choice than The Monster too.

• The Kids Get to Play! - We lost a goalie (if you can call him that), a defenceman and four forwards. In return we got back a goalie, a defenceman and only one forward. That opens up three forwards spots! Come on down, Hanson and Stalberg!...unfortunately Wallin will probably be filling in that last spot.
  
  
• Draft Schmaft - We essentially gave up two first round picks for Kessel and Phaneuf. Two players with star potential under the age of 25? I don't think too many GMs would shake their head at that
  
  
• #1 Centre - We are giving Matt Stajan the chance to flourish into a #1 centre that we all knew he would someday be...with Calgary! /snickers
  
  
• WE GOT SOMETHING OF VALUE FOR JASON BLAKE AND VESA TOSKALA!!! I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME

The Bad

• Moustachulence - Losing this epic moustache
  
  
• High Risk - At $6.5M per season, Phaneuf is definitely a big risk. I know we all have our fingers crossed that he will not be the second coming of Bryan McCabe. Here's hoping that a change of scenery is what he needs to go back to his Norris candidate form.
  
  
• More Defence? - With almost $23M invested in our d (not including Finger's terrible contract), it will be an embarrassment if we don't improve next season. The top four of Kaberle, Phaneuf, Beauchemin and Komisarek does make me giddy...but of course I said the same thing earlier this season but with Schenn instead of Phaneuf.
  
  
• Hope - Okay, this is normally a good thing but not when you thought everybody else was giving up on this team and you wanted to get good tickets for cheap! With this new found hope, fans will be filling the seats to see Phaneuf in action. Thanks, Burke!
  

• Piritta Hannula -Or Niklas Hagman's wife as you probably know her. Sure, we get Elisha Cuthbert but I have to admit that I'm a bigger fan of Hagman's wife. Especially since she's not tainted by Sean Avery. Oh, Piritta. You will be missed.
  

The Ugly

DION PHANEUF
DA DAAAAAAA DA-DA-DA
DION PHANEUF
DA DA-DA DA

There is no denying that Dion Phaneuf is one of the ugliest human beings on this planet

One of these things do not belong in this picture
Motivation for ugly dudes. Get good in hockey. This is what $6.5M a year can nab you

The Muskoka Fiveheads
Dion's forehead compared with four other notoriously gargantuan foreheads.
Only Christina Ricci has him beat!

Inspired by words from our very own WAC
"He looks two steps behind on an evolution chart."
Looks like she nailed it

Olympic Contest + Contest Update

If you haven't noticed, I have a "Track the Contest" link in the bar to the right. Now for those who missed the train, it was basically a Leafs contest I held before the season started asking some over/under, true or false and fill in the blank questions. Here's an update on that contest.

Over/Unders
1. Over/Under on the number of goals Jason Blake will score: 24.5
Actual goals: 10 // Projected goals: 15 - Yeah, the under it looking pretty safe.

2. Over/Under on the number of fighting majors Luke Schenn will get: 4.5
Actual fights: 3 // Projected fights: 5 - This one looks like it's going down to the wire.

3. Over/Under on the number of points Jiri Tlusty will get: 50.5
Actual Points (as a Leaf): 0 // Projected points: 0 - I HAD FAITH IN YOU!!!

4. Over/Under on the number of wins The Monster will get: 19.5
Actual Wins: 9 // Projected wins: 14 - Ugh...this one was totally reachable if it wasn't for two heart ablations, one sore groin and Ron Wilson's overplaying of ToskaLOL

5. Over/Under on the number of goals for this team will score: 239.5
Actual goals: 139 // Projected goals: 215 - With the Leafs' PP going cold and Kessel no longer scoring at a point per game place, it looks like this one will stay under

True or false
1. We will make the playoffs.
11 points out...it's still possible but it doesn't look good.

2. We will finish above the dirty Habs.
With the 8th place team being the Habs, this one doesn't look good either

3. Mike van Ryn will not get put on injured reserve this year. Technically true since he never really came off the IR but the fair answer would be false. 4. The Monster will outplay Toskala for the starting job.
Though Gustavsson hasn't been amazing, this is still without a question, true.

5. Our penalty killing will be in the top 10 at season's end.
With a revamped defence and a "healthy" Toskala/new goaltender in The Monster, I figured there would be a huge improvement on the PK. Unfortunately we are the worst team in the NHL defensively and our PK will go down as one of the worst, if not the worst, PKs in the history of the NHL.

Pick a Player
1. _______ will be the first person to get suspended.
Surprisingly, there hasn't been a suspension yet.

2. _______ will score the first goal of the season.
Alexei Ponikarovsky

3. _______ will be the first to be healthy scratched.
Matt Stajan & Niklas Hagman were the first "regulars" to ride the pine.

4. _______ will be the first to be traded.
Jiri Tlusty

5. _______ will lead the team in +/-
So far, Ian White at +4 but Schenn & Gunnarsson are right behind with +3

If the season finished with the projected stats then there will be a 3-way tie for winners: Ryan, Clark and Lordosis with Ryan taking the tie-breaker (November record).

------------------------------OLYMPIC CONTEST------------------------------

Now for a new contest. With the Olympics coming up, I figured an Olympics themed one would make most sense. To keep it quick and simple, list 3 forwards and 2 defencemen playing in the Olympics. Person with the most points wins.

To avoid having Malkin, Crosby and Ovechkin as everybody's 3 forwards, they are void from the contest. Everybody else is fair game. For a tie-breaker, state who you think will lead the Olympics in points along with how many goals and assists they get. Remember to leave your name rather than anonymous along with some way I can contact you in case you win.

Winner gets this Tomas Kaberle autograph.