I'm heading to a wedding this weekend. It will be the first of my high school friends to get married. This got me wondering..."Who would make the perfect pro athlete wife?" I came up empty. I simply couldn't think of any good looking female athletes. I mean there's a couple of decent ones. Sharapova is kind of cute, there's the pole vaulter, Allison Stokke but I didn't want to go there since she may be underage and Jenny Finch is okay if you like the porn star look. There just doesn't seem to be any bombshells in female atheletics. They mostly look like the Williams sisters, Chyna or Hayley Wickenheiser. *Shudders*
The female sports fan has it good. Though there are enough ugly male athletes the number of good looking ones balances it out. Where is the female equivalent to David Beckham, The Vesa or Luke Schenn? So instead of looking for the perfect pro athlete wife, I took to my friends and family to find the perfect pro athlete husband.
Shirley: Jason Kapono because he's a stud and he's not too big (that's what she said) compared to other basketball players. He also doesn't play a contact game so I wouldn't have to worry too much on game days.
Okay Shirley, you do know that Kapono is 6'8, right? She also said "orrrr maybe Shaq because he's funny" right after naming Kapono so I don't know what she wants!
That's great Jason, now let's see your O-face.
Iginla is great. He's charitable, great with his fans, a true class act. Only true douchebags like Canucks fans can legitimately hate this guy. Heck, I might even have picked him is he didn't look like a beluga.
Leave the helmet on, Jarome. It covers your belugaish forehead.
How's my O-Face? More Oh and less Ah next time
Yes, Aileen. But he also looks like a weasel. If you ever do nab him, make him promise you he will never attempt a playoff beard again.
High school graduation?
How's my O-Face? Act like you've been there before, rookie. Oh, you haven't?...
Hmm...I'm not sure if I want a guy who will always be overshadowed by his younger sister. And he moved to Cleveland for god's sake.
The feud between Parker and Kapono for best looking Raptor ended in a tragedy as their half time walk-offs became a distraction and they both got the boot.
Brady may be taken but he is definitely the McDreamy of the NFL. Watch out Gisele...
Yes, we're going to be making some good looking babies.
How's my O-Face? FIERCE!
Right, if crumbling on the floor and quitting on your team is business then he definitely does take care of it. Just don't sign the pre-nup, Kurt.
I hope you like him in a suit because it's a sight you're going to have to get used to
Christine: Georges St-Pierre! He's so cute, his French accent is adorable and I love his perfectly chiseled body.
Richard: GSP. He's so dominant in his sport, he's ripped and classy.
Okay, GSP is a great answer. He is the definition of a beefcake. I just have a problem with his partying ways. Plus he likes the Habs and the Oilers.
I hope you like it on the bottom because GSP loves being on top
How can you reject a well dressed man?
The O-Face is a bit goofy and can use some work but other than that, he's totally sponge-worthy
Now Federer isn't ugly but I wouldn't say he's a bonafide stud either. He seems like a great guy. He's humble, classy, he dominates his game (that's right, Nadal can suck it), he's loaded (hey, I need the financial security!) and average seems to be his cup of tea.
The unbuttoned top button let's me know he ain't all business.
Mr. Federer & Mrs. Average
How's my O-Face? Intense!