Meeting The Monster and XLB

Exelby & Gustavsson Q&A

I just got back from the interview and autograph session with Garnet Exelby and Jonas Gustavsson. The event itself started at 1 pm but doors opened at 12 pm. I got there a little bit before 12 and there was already a line up of around 30-40 people. I immediately recognized Monika. That long blonde hair...mmm she smelled so good...
/Jizz in my pants

Dramatization

My stalking aside, here's how the rest of the event went down. The interview session was all done with fans. People either asked questions there or sent Monika questions through twitter. Here are some of the Q&A's I could remember (paraphrased of course).

Q: Are you guys on social networking sites like Twitter or Facebook?

Both: No so if you see any claiming to be them, they're phonies!

The Mad Hatter with The Monster

Q: (To Exelby) I notice you wear a lot of hats, particularly the fedora, is there a reason for that?

XLB: I guess I started it when I started growing my hair long. After showers and such, I needed something to keep my hair on my head so I decided to find a hat. I just hate it when we go to cold places and players wear a suit and wear a beanie or toque with it so I wanted to find something stylish.

Monika: and your style, Jonas? I notice you have a more Euro look.

Monster: Well, you know, you have to keep it Swedish.

Q: How is the attention you're receiving now compared to how things were last year?

XLB: Playing in Atlanta, there is definitely more attention on the team here than there were in the southern US. There are like 400 guys covering the same team so sometimes you get asked a lot of the same questions but I love it. Bring it on.

Monster: We got some attention last year but only during the playoffs. We get that same attention here everyday, like even in the preseason. I think it's great that so many people are into the team.

Q: How do you get pumped for the game?

Both: On game days, we like to take it easy, take a nap and relax until the game.

Not now, Chief. I'm in the fuckin' zone.

Q: Do you guys have any superstitions?

XLB: I don't have any that I'm aware of but I'm sure that subconsciously I do certain things like putting on my equipment in a certain order.

Monster: I like to put on my equipment the same way everyday. It just feels right. I also like to be by myself after the warm ups to collect my thoughts.

I can't wait til you pull one of these, Exelby

Q: Who were your role models growing up?

XLB: I really liked Scott Stevens. He was a good defensive defender and laid out some big open ice hits.

Monster: My role model was Patrick Roy. I believe he was the best goalie to play in the NHL.

Q: What do you like to do in the offseason?

XLB: I like to travel (then he named a shitload of places he's been to).

Monster: I haven't been to too many places. Mostly places in Europe only. I just like to take it easy and hang out with friends.

I have no clue what kind of t-shirt that is but it is awesome

Q: Who do you room with on the road and do you have any funny stories to share?

Monster: Well, nobody likes me so I have my own room. Nah, the Leafs actually gives the goalies their own room so I'm by myself.

XLB: I share a room with Finger. We actually don't see each other too often since we're the ones usually in and out of the line up. When he plays I try to stay out of his way and when I play he does the same for me. As for funny stories, I had a roommate in Atlanta so snored so bad, I had to go to the front desk to get a room for myself. (Now to find out who he roomed with in Atlanta)

Jonas, if you pull a Vesa, I will ship your Nordic ass on the first flight
back to Sweden faster than you can say Ikea meatballs!

Q: If you could have dinner with one person, who would it be?

XLB: Leonardo da Vinci. I just thought he was interesting with his views on life and religion (and he went on and on about it but I was trying to take a picture of The Monster at the time).

Monster: Jeremy Piven from Entourage. I would love to try to trash talk him.

There were a couple more questions that was asked that I don't remember the complete answer to them so I didn't recap them. They both seemed like cool guys. Exelby was the funny guy while Jonas seemed a bit shy with a more subtle sense of humour. Jonas also disses a Habs fan there about having to learn French.

It may be a little hard to read but Gustavsson wrote 'The Monster' beside his signature.

I believe the event will be up on Leafs Space some time next week so keep an eye out for it if you want to catch it in it's entirety!

Lucky 13: Scariest NHLers

Cross any black cats yesterday? See anything strange? If you weren't aware by now, yesterday was Friday the 13th. In fine Friday the 13th fashion, I will run down some of the scariest players to ever lace them up. Here are 13 NHLers that you won't want to find in your nightmares.

#13 - Zdeno Chara

At a hulking 6'9, 255, Chara is built more like a power forward in the NBA than an NHL defenceman. While he doesn't fight often (probably because nobody is dumb enough to drop the gloves with him) you will not like him when he gets angry. When he's not busy crushing opponents or tossing them like ragdolls, he enjoys eating a good set of twins.

#12 - Gordie Howe

Here's a guy who has played in four different decades and had many offensive records until Gretzky broke them. You would think that somebody with such longevity and offensive prowess didn't like to mix it up too much but there's a reason why the Gordie Howe hat trick is a goal, assist and a fight. If you want to go into the corners with Mr. Hockey, you are guaranteed to come out with one thing; his elbow in your face.

#11 - Stu Grimson

Stu Grimson was one of the premier enforcers of the 90's. With a 6'6 frame and the nickname, The Grim Reaper, what isn't there to fear about? While his points total was rather lousy (39 points in 729 career games), he knew what his job was and amassed over 2,000 penalty minutes doing it.

#10 - Dave "The Hammer" Schultz

Schultz was a part of the infamous Broad Street Bullies teams. With Bobby Clarke being one of the biggest pricks to play in the NHL, the guy protecting him had to have had his hands full. As a result, Schultz holds the single season record for most penalty minutes with 472.

#9 - Georges Laraque

Georges seems like a nice guy, one may even think he is a gentle giant...until they see him bust some faces. Laraque is one of the best enforcers in the game today and a simple youtube search for him will verify that. Is there a scarier vegan on the face of the earth?

#8 - Dave "Tiger" Williams

Here is a player that Tie Domi idolized. That should tell you all you need to know about his toughness. While he was labeled as an enforcer, Tiger could score as well. It wasn't uncommon to see him finish a season with 40-50 points and 300 penalty minutes.

#7 - Tie Domi

By far one of the smallest enforcers to ever play the game, Domi wasn't afraid to drop them no matter how much bigger his opponent was. Domi's fighting strategy usually involved jerseying the guy and dropping bombs on him. Whether foe or fan, nobody is safe from the wrath of Tie.

#6 - Marty McSorley

There's a reason Gretzky scored 2,857 points, that reason is because he had this psychopath patrolling the ice. Lay your hands on the great one and he will get his hands on you. Just take a look at his stats and check out the teams he played on with Gretzky and without. You will notice the difference in penalty minutes.

#5 - Derek Boogaard

With a 23-9-4 fight record (according to the voters at hockeyfights.com), The Boogeyman is no joke. He is regarded as one of the top fighters in the game today. He only has 10 points in 198 games and believe me, it had nothing to do with Jacques Lemaire's coaching style. The 6'8, 257 lb enforcer only has one job and that is to destroy opponent's faces. Just as Todd Fedoruk.

#4 - Red Horner

During his playing days, there were few tougher than Horner. He led the league in penalty minutes in 8 of his 12 seasons. Horner amassed total of 1,264 penalty minutes in 490 career games. Now that might not seem like a ton but you must remember that Horner played in the 30's. To get a penalty you practically had to two-hand a guy over the face.

#3 - Bob Probert

A hockey enforcer? Scary. A drug addict? Scary. Combine the two and you get Bob Probert. In my opinion, Probert was the premier enforcer (note: I didn't say fighter because we all know who that king was) of the 90's. As insane as Probert was on the ice, he was equally as psychotic off the ice. In 2004 he had to be subdued with tasers and stun guns and in 2005 he assaulted a police officer. I definitely wouldn't want to be in this guy's bad books.

#2 - Eddie Shore

Eddie Shore is a nutcase. I'll let his wikipedia entry do the talking

"During their first practice with the Bruins, Shore strutted back and forth in front of Coutu and Cleghorn. Coutu body-slammed Shore, head-butted, elbowed, and tried to torment Shore. Coutu picked up the puck and made a rush at Shore. The two players collided. Shore held his ground and Coutu flew through the air violently crashing to the ice. Shore's ear was almost ripped off but he barely noticed it. Coutu was out cold and was out of commission for a week. Shore visited several doctors who wanted to amputate the ear, but found one who sewed it back on. After refusing anesthetic, Shore used a mirror to watch the doctor sew the ear on."

Umm...WHAT. THE. FUCK.

#1 - Wendel Clark

Wendel Clark was the scariest hockey player to ever play the game, hands down. This guy was basically Ovechkin before Ovechkin but with balls. He scored goals, he hit hard and dropped you faster than you could say 1967. He is also the feature of THE GREATEST YOUTUBE VIDEO OF ALL TIME!

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Did I miss anybody? Who gives you nightmares? Mike Ricci? Drop em in the comments!

As an aside, 7 of the 13 players on the list are from Saskatchewan. If only I stayed in Saskatchewan, I could have became a hulking 6'4, 240 lb professional face smasher. TRUCULENCE

Goose vs Monster

There seems to be a bit of confusion over what to call Jonas Gustavsson. I know modern day nicknames are typically lazy and uncreative and usually the short form of the player's name. Kipper (Kiprusoff), Kabby (Kaberle), Lou (Luongo) and recently I have heard people calling Gustavsson, Goose. Well I'm here to set the record straight.

Goose

Monster

Goose

Monster

Goose

Monster

Goose

Monster

Let's put an end to calling Gustavsson Goose because he is

THE MONSTER!!!

State of the Toronto Sports Scene

Take a look to the right. Nothing big but something new added that I will hopefully update with regularity to reflect the current state of the Toronto sports scene.

Game Review: Lightning Strikes

People say that when it rains it pours and this Leafs season is looking more and more like a fucking monsoon. The Leafs have played well during their road trip, they're coming back to home ice, Phil Kessel is back and they play against a very winnable team...this is an automatic two points, right?

The glass is half full

• Phil Kessel looked great. He was a lot quicker than I thought he would be and he created a lot of scoring chances for himself.
• Oh Jonas, how I love you. You are such a steady wall back there. Let's never speak of that other guy again.
• We drew 8 penalties. We were 2nd in PP efficiency coming into this game. If we keep this up, we'll eventually win another game.
• We got another point and as a result we aren't the lone last place team anymore!
  

Fuck off, it's half empty

• Jason Blake is a Leaf...
  
• Its only been one game but let's end this Stajan/Blake with Kessel experiment. Let's put him with somebody who can set him up (Hagman/Grabbo) or somebody who can capitalize on all the rebounds he produces (Ponikarovsky).
• The PP went 1/8! We did have some good scoring chances but there wasn't enough traffic in front of the net. The wingers are playing too far out along the boards which allows the PK to keep the puck on the outside.
• Gustavsson's puck handling...so the last time he got a penalty for venturing out of the trapezoid. This time he coughs it up instead of letting Ian White skate it up!
• Apparently, knocking the puck in by pushing the goalie into the net and dislodging it after the initial save is a legit goal in the NHL...
  
• Jason Blake is still a Leaf...fuck!

Dishing out the Hardware

The Jonas Hoglund Award: Awarded to the player who suffers from the worst case of stone-handitis.

Matt Stajan - What the fuck, Stajan?! You had an open net to shoot at in the first but gave it up. In the third you had a glorious chance to slide the puck in on the PP only to shoot it wide. Then in OT you give up the puck in the offensive zone which led to the winning goal.

The Bryan McCabe Award: Awarded to the player who makes the biggest defensive gaff of the night

Mike Komisarek - Why did you go after the puck instead of sticking with Malone in OT?! This gave him a straight path to the net allowing him to bowl over Gustavsson for the game winner.

The Vesa Toskala Award - Awarded to the Finn that royally screws us

Antero Niittymaki: Stopped 40 of 41 shots...and a good number of them were good scoring chances too. He was in perfect position all night. Square to the puck, left few rebounds and the rebounds he did give up, he kicked to the corners or his d swept them out of danger. Simply put, we ran into a hot goalie tonight.

The Ray Charles Award - Awarded to the blindest motherfucker in the house

Anybody who thought that OT winner was a legit goal...

While we are looking better and better with every game, we need to start winning soon. We'll be heading to the quarter-season mark soon and having only a couple of wins by then just won't cut it.